Last night, I had a dream that I went garage sale-ing and I found some rare toys/promotional items from McDonald’s. They were Christmas-themed Garfield figurines and big plastic cookie jars (what?). I was like “FUCK YEAAAAH” so I was about to buy them but ran into two problems: I had forgotten my wallet, and the lady wanted like a zillion dollars for them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a LOSER.

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